Raising Real Men

Ah, the weekend’s finally here.  Looking forward to the weekend is such an institution, even officially-atheist nations like China shut down for Sunday.  Here in America, Saturday’s time to catch up on some yardwork, maybe wash the car, but then it’s time to play.  Sometimes it seems like the weekend is our goal line for all the days before!  No wonder they write songs about it.

Now, is anything wrong with that?  The answer may surprise you, and even more when you realize that even the Puritans thought games and recreation could be Biblical and righteous!  Check out this unexpected quotation we include in chapter 6 of Raising Real Men:

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Several of my boys are constantly drawing, so when Timberdoodle, one of our favorite suppliers, asked us if we’d like to review a new art curriculum, I thought, “Great!”and evidently, my boys thought so, too. When Simply Draw with Bob Parsons arrived at our house, there was great excitement, but I wouldn’t let them open it, not until we got a binder to put it in. So, tip number one is to get yourself a 1.5″ view binder for the book before your order arrives! And, while you’re at it, buy a notebook for each of your children, too, so they can keep up with their own work. That’s one of the things I love about Simply Draw - it comes with a CD that includes a pdf for each page your child will need to draw on – all together, so you can just print a set for each child. That makes this curriculum much more affordable than similarly priced art books that are consumable. I printed those pages on regular typing paper, but I think it would be even better to use card stock like the rest of the book, as Mr. Parsons recommends. So, you might want to pick up a pack of that with the notebooks. There are 74 pages you can print out.

As soon as we got it all set up, three of our middle boys glommed on to it and started reading it together. Simply Draw is an extremely boy-friendly art curriculum. It’s full of jokes and humor and the drawing examples are things like jets, robots, Rube Goldberg-like machines and vicious-looking fish. The boys loved it! I don’t think our girls will find it very appealing when they get to that age, though. There’s nothing much in the way of houses, queens, flowers and butterflies – the things my girls like to draw.

The Simply Draw CD also has 25 video lessons that demonstrate how to do the techniques in the book. They are very basic, but they make it easier to understand how to how actually do what is described. The CD is viewable on a computer, not a DVD player, and there’s an icon to show you where in the book you should stop to watch a video.

Then it was time to get started drawing, “Hey, this really works! Mom, come look!” The guys were excited to find out that they were able to produce drawings that looked an awful lot like the author’s. My 13yo said, “It’s cool, really cool. He teaches how to do a whole lot of things I’ve been wanting to learn for years.”

Then someone got jealous that the boys were getting so much attention, so she climbed up on the table to see if she could get in the pictures. I was glad to oblige, but she wouldn’t be still for more than a nanosecond.

The results of the first lesson were pretty neat. I had to go look in the book to see which one was the student’s work. One of my boys shaded the arm at the top.

I think you’d probably need to be eight or older to succeed with this art program. Bob Parsons teaches some pretty complex techniques, though in a very non-intimidating, fun way. Anyone up to an adult could benefit  – there were things I could sure use some help on – but I think the age most likely to jump at it is going to be 8-14 or so. The only possibly objectionable things I noticed were a drawing of Humphrey Bogart with a cigarette and a little name calling among cartoon characters. That was only a couple of pages, and the rest of it more than made up for it with its terrific boy oriented humor.

All the boys who tried it want to continue with Simply Drawing on their own whether or not I include it as part of school – now that’s an appealing curriculum!

Simply Drawing with Bob Parsons, 2010, 192 pages with video CD, available from Timberdoodle for $37.50. Highly recommended for boys.

We received a free copy of this curriculum in return for our honest review. If we don’t like something we’ll say so.

You can hear us live on WSVA-AM 550 in Harrisonburg, Staunton, and Charlottesville, Virginia, today at 3:35 p.m.  Tune in to “Late Afternoons with Mike Schikman” at 550 AM or online at http://www.wsvaonline.com/.

A bumper sticker says, “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”  Most people agree on the value of education.  The Civitas Institute, a conservative think tank in Raleigh, N.C., just completed a study of the cost.  How much does it take to provide a K-12 education?

How about $122,478 ?

That’s median per-pupil expense for thirteen years in the ten largest school districts in our state – and it doesn’t count the cost of buildings and buses, only the operating expense.  

It puts another perspective on property taxes, private school tuition, and the hidden impact of homeschooling, doesn’t it?

I’d had one of those weeks last week.  The biggest benefit to working from home is that you can be closer to your family.  One of the challenges, though, is just how close that can be when you really meant to focus on work.  The week seemed balanced between fight intervention between brothers, a high-need toddler resulting in a low-sleep wife, and children swinging between slothful and scatterbrained when it’s time to do chores or schoolwork.  You probably have “weeks”, too.

So how do you approach this continual interruption in your adult world?  How do you think about it?

On the one hand, it may be my fault, at least to some extent.   The disruption may be God’s gentle discipline for my failure to train them better.  Maybe if I was a perfect Dad, married to the perfect Mom, our boys would never lose their temper with each other.  Well, welcome to reality … we aren’t, and they do.  Or the interruption may be that something I left undone around the house has come home to roost – I didn’t tell anyone we’d run out of toilet paper, for example.

On the other hand, it can be a teachable moment – for parents as well as the children.  Mark Twain said the man who has picked up a cat by the tail is ever so much wiser than the one who had simply been told not to do it.  When there’s a real world disagreement going on, suddenly Biblical teaching has immediate, practical application.  What better time to talk about 1 Corinthians 13, and what it means to be patient, kind, not counting offenses?  This is a chance to do more than say, “You ought to show love to one another,” but to actually explain how that works out in conflict.  You’ve got the chance to calmly walk through the situation and discuss how a mature believer handles it.  Did you jump to conclusions?  Did you make a joke at your brother’s expense?  Did you take offense where none was intended? If you had known more at the time, how would you have handled it differently?

That last one is for us parents, too.  Sometimes we discover that our guilty child honestly didn’t know how to deal with the situation.  When we ask them, “What should you have done?”, occasionally they give us a blank look.  “Uh …”  Honestly, have we given them instruction and examples of how grown-up Christians are supposed to handle disappointment, anger, sadness, jealousy?  (I know, sometimes we need help with these things ourselves.)  Their confusion is an opportunity for us to teach them–or remind them– how to behave the next time.

It’s important to be calm and judicial through this.  Rather than just assigning blame, you can help the two antagonists learn how to think through an emotional situation, considering the other person’s point of view and their feelings.  This takes time, patience, and some creativity.  Boys respond to calmness, logic, reason.  They appreciate fairness.  You have to keep thinking, though, to get the different viewpoints sorted out and to come up with examples to illustrate your points (things along the lines of, “Now, what if you came in the room and found your brother reading your book …”)  God is giving you, the parent, an opportunity to teach a whole world of skills that are hard to write into a textbook curriculum.  This is hands on stuff that you can’t plan on.

Well, you may say, that’s all fine and good for the teaching and discipline part.  I’ve got work to be done — and that’s part of my responsibility, too.  What about my needs?

You probably know some things you can do for your own privacy and peace — like setting “office hours” so your family will know not to disturb you unless an emergency.  My brother in law had a friend who used to put on a tie when it was “work” hours, and take it off when it was “family” time.  A friend and client of mine has a little three-sided object he hangs on the office door.  When the red or green panel is out, the meaning is obvious; yellow means you can come in, but quietly — he’s on the phone or reading email.  Sometimes all it takes is letting your family know you’ve got to make several phone calls or concentrate for a while.  Sometimes …

The thing I have to remind myself, though, is the passage in Deuteronomy 32:46-47.  Moses told the people of Israel,

“Set your hearts on all the words which I testify among you today, which you shall command your children to be careful to observe—all the words of this law. For it is not a futile thing for you, because it is your life, and by this word you shall prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to possess.”

“This is not a futile thing, for it is your life.”  God gave me this family to train up for His kingdom.  I have other work and ministry to take care of, and my management of the balance between work, family, and self time is part of the duty of stewardship.  But when the balloon goes up, when the call comes for Dad to drop whatever he’s doing and step into a “teachable moment,” I remind myself — this is what God has called me to do.   This is my life.  The other things will usually wait if they have to.  I’m working on the souls of these children.

Though it does seem like some weeks take more work than others.

Edit: Congratulations to Mandy Gillespie who won volumes 1 and 2 of our new Hero Tales series and apheartsong who won a free ticket to the Schoolhouse Expo!

Psychologists Joseph and Claudia Allen say that low expectations have undermined the transition from childhood to adulthood, and twenty-somethings are still trying to figure out what their parents knew as teenagers. The age of marriage is rising, the number of young men living in their parents’ basement is climbing, and America is raising a generation that’s really good at Facebook and Halo 3, but doesn’t know where to begin when it’s time to grow up.

Is 25 the new 15?  We say NO — and we don’t have to play that game!

Hal and Melanie Young will be speaking on “Doing Real Things, for Teens and Their Families,” during The Old Schoolhouse Expo, October 4-8. Young men and women will hear how they can stop just marking time and start making a mark on the world. Parents will be inspired and equipped to help their children make the transition to adulthood more easily.

To help promote this online event, we’ll be on The Old Schoolhouse’s Facebook page this afternoon from 4:00 Eastern for about 15 minutes, answering your questions live!

AND … We’ve got a couple of specials to give away –

(1) For someone who leaves a comment on this post, we have a free ticket to the Expo — a $19.99 value for all five days!  We’ll draw the winner at noon on Tuesday …

(2) For someone who leaves a comment on this post, we have one set of volume one and two of our new Hero Tales audiobook! A $10 value and we’ll draw the winner at noon on Tuesday…

AND  a sale!

(3) For a limited time, you can order our “Homeschooling Teens Bundle”, three hour-long CDs of ideas and encouragement, including “Homeschooling High School,” “Aiming For College,” and you know what teenagers need – food in bulk, Melanie’s popular “Sanity’s in the Freezer”!  Regularly $15, you can get all three for $12 with free shipping! Just click here.

So come by www.facebook.com/theoldschoolhouse this afternoon to join in the conversation -

And to enter, drop us a comment here. For extra entries, link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, or email loops. Just be sure to leave another comment to let us know you did!

Congratulations to Sonbeams on today’s release of their new preschool curriculum! Don’t miss today’s great sale…

A few months we reviewed Sonbeam’s ABC Bible Memory Verse Songs and were impressed with them, so when Mrs. Candace of Sonbeams asked us if we’d like to review their new preschool curriculum, we were delighted.

The first thing that struck me when I opened the up the samples that Candace sent me was how clear and easy to use this program was. Really, the books do just what we’ve always done with our preschoolers to teach them the letters and numbers, colors and shapes, but it’s all ready for you to use – no creativity needed. And that’s important for me right now. We’re so busy that if it’s not easy to use, it tends to get put off.

The other thing I like about this program is that it is infused with a Christian perspective. The whole program is focused on the Word of God and uses Christian ideas as examples and as teaching opportunities. This is a joy in teaching our little ones, that we can use the time we have with them to point them to the most important things in life.

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Congratulations to Cynthia and Cheryl Lynn, who won a copy of Ned, Bernardo Boy and the unit study that goes with it!

Keep your eyes peeled for more reviews and contests to come…

From: “Mike Richardson”
Subject: And now for the rest of the story from Mexico-it is a good one!
Date: Mon, 9 Aug 2010 20:44:15 -0500

Over the last few weeks I have thought a lot about Matthew 6:34. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow; for tomorrow shall be anxious for its own things. Sufficient to the day is the evil of it.”

I have really tried to do what this verse teaches but the truth is that I have failed miserably. I have fretted and moaned to God about the road. I have done everything within my power to get the job done. But it was obvious that since the machines had not arrived by this morning, that it was going to be hard to open up our entrance before the conference. So we began to
follow through on our plans to cut trees and brush down across the neighbor’s property and access his driveway. While his drive has always been bad, it was not damaged by the rains and we felt like we could get out that way.

About 10:30 this morning a lone backhoe driver came up to the house and asked me what he was supposed to be doing. I showed him the worst spot on the road and left him to be doing the arduous task of digging it out completely so that the new pipe could be placed and then we would have to rebuild the area. I knew that this backhoe would be unable to complete the
job this week so I told my other workers to continue clearing the other “path” and then drove up to San Juan to see the man in charge of the work. On my way I passed another five pieces of heavy equipment that have been working on the roads.

When I arrived I talked to Javier a few minutes and then returned to the house. All six of the drivers had started working on our property! That’s right six machine working all at the same time. Two backhoes, a CAT Motor Grader, a large Compact Roller, a dump truck, and a truck to water the roads before the Compact Roller rolled over it.

They worked all day like busy little beavers building a dam. The dump truck brought 14 loads of fill. The back hoes were digging and moving the dirt, the CAT Motor Grader was scraping the driveway and the Compact Roller along with the water truck was giving me a smooth drive road. About an hour later the trailer showed up with the large pipes that we were planning to install.

While the tractors were all working the Engineer called me over to talk. First he told me that he would prefer to build a concrete pass for the water instead of installing the pipes that had been purchased. (That pipes were his ideas to begin with so I listened carefully to what he was saying.) He explained that the pipes could get stopped up with a tree or something large
that washed down. Then he went on to say that if we used the concrete that it would leave the hill a little bit steeper to drive up but that the water would just run on top of the concrete. That way almost all risk of future damage would be eliminated. In the end we decided on the concrete.

Then he went on to tell me that he had seen us on the television this morning. I am not sure if I mentioned this but about a week ago the large TV station in this area made their way to our house and interviewed Pam and me as well as a few of the kids. We were able to tell them why we lived in a place like this — to bring the hope of salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. I went on to compliment the work that the Presidente and other government official were doing. I took the time to explain that even though they were not yet to our house that they were doing a very good job. I added that I appreciated that the Presidente was a man of honor and was administrating his area of responsibility well.

While I did not see it, the Engineer told me that all of that was on the television this morning at 7:00am — the gospel message, the reason we lived here and our appreciation for the work that the government was doing here. I wonder if you might be thinking what I thought. At 7:00am a news report was made on the TV about our situation and at 10:30 six large machines
showed up at our house.

More than anything I think:

God is good all the time.
All the time God is good.

The men worked all day. When they left at 6:00pm they were about 90% through with the work except for the concrete. They said that they would finish the tractor work in the morning and pour the concrete in a few weeks.

Oh, lest I forget, since we had started to open the other road by hand, they decided to give us a hand and do it with their machines. So now we have two driveways coming in and out of the property instead of one!

God is good all the time.
All the time God is good.

While we are very happy to have normal access restored, we must not forget that our house is in the middle of the canyon so about half of this valley is still without normal access. I will keep you informed as we continue to make progress.

In Christ,

Mike

There are only a select subset of books that I reread. Most are barely worth the time to finish them, but there are a few that bear rereading again and again. Dorothy Sayers is like that. Although she writes mysteries, her prose is so enjoyable that you don’t even care that you know “who dunnit.” I was rereading one of hers the other day and Harriet mentioned to Lord Peter that someone was a Barnardo’s boy. Thanks to Barbara Coyle, this time I knew what she meant!

Anyone in the England of 70 or 100 or 140 years ago would know exactly what was meant by a Barnardo’s boy – a orphan taken in by one of the many homes  established by Dr. Thomas Barnardo, an evangelical Christian with an early ambition for the foreign mission field, who found his God-given mission ministering to the “least of these my brethren.” Barbara Coyle, a missionary wife herself, brings that history to life in Ned, Barnardo Boy.

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