Adult Sons

Coming of Age:
5. Celebration is Part of the Ceremony, Too!
At our sons' coming-of-age ceremonies, we aim to gather the wisdom of significant men in the young man's life and offer encouragement, welcome, and exhortation in a public, family-oriented setting.   But it's not all teaching and ritual. Another thing we do is invite our guests to rejoice in this time of growth. Our family's birthday celebrations…
When You Find That on Your Husband’s Phone
It's the conference season, so we're all over the place speaking and talking to people. It's an honor to hear their stories and to be invited into their lives. It's also heartbreaking, sometimes. We think the hardest part is talking to those whose marriages are in trouble. The grief is palpable. They look broken, injured,…
When Should You Get Your Kids Their Driver’s License?
When we were teenagers, we couldn't wait to get our driver's license. It was a step toward adulthood, and we were eager to have the independence that driving represented. All our friends felt the same way, and our parents encouraged it. Recently, though, we've been hearing something which frankly surprised us. We were listening to…
A Question About Fifty Shades of Grey
This morning a friend asked, "Do you think I should watch Fifty Shades of Grey with my teen and talk about it?"  We're not as strict on media as some are. We think there's some value in watching things you don't agree with and analyzing and discussing them with your teens. Sometimes, though, there's more…
Giving Devices for Christmas
As parents, we have a love/hate relationship with all the devices in our home. We depend on our laptops. We run our business from them and our teen/twenties sons run their businesses from theirs, too. We use them to communicate with each other - especially the grown up kids in other states. If we need to…
Launching Family Business Greenhouse
People often ask us how they can start a family business like we did. The problem is that they need to start a family business like only they can!   One day we were visiting with some dear friends and talking about the need to help families who want the freedom and flexibility both our families…
Dating and Courtship: Should There Be Only One Suitor?
We were very surprised to find that many parents who are teaching courtship to their children are expecting (and telling their children!) that there will only be one suitor in their future. We see some real problems with this. Imagine this: Marc has a female friend he's known for years. Recently, he's begun to realize what…
Finding a Mate: Honoring Your Parents
We've said some critical things about the way the courtship model of finding a mate is generally carried out, but one good thing that has come out of it is the recognition that courtship and marriage involves more than two people, it involves two families. We're always amused when we hear someone say, "I'm marrying her,…
Finding a Mate: It’s Just Coffee
"Hey, I've got some unexpected time free. Want to meet for coffee?" an adult young man texts an adult female friend. "I'm not comfortable meeting guys like that. You need to talk to my father," is the reply. These two are on a different wavelength. Let's peek into their heads for a moment. (No, we…