Driver’s Ed Moments
Posted by Melanie in Civilization, Hilarity

We love Driver’s Ed.

In our county, homeschoolers join in the public school driver’s education classes in order to get their learner’s permits. We think that’s great! Three hours a day for two and a half weeks of the state driver’s education curriculum pretty much cures them of wondering if they are missing something by doing high school at home. 🙂

We love Mr. Woodard and Mr. Hooks, the dedicated men who have taught these yahoos to drive for decades. They do a great job keeping a huge class under control, passing on the wisdom these kids need, and then teaching them to drive safely and well. Whatever they pay them, it isn’t enough.

Some of the students are another story, though. Every evening during Driver’s Ed, our son had us all in stitches telling us what happened that day. Here’s a small sample:

Instructor: “blah, blah, blah…magistrate…”

Student, loudly: “Midgets? Midgets? What was that about midgets, sir?”

Instructor to his assistant: “You’re gonna take this one driving. I want to live another week.”


Student to group of homeschooled kids: “So, do you… [watch TV, play this Wii game, play video games, play with Playstation all day]?”

Homeschoolers: “No.” “Not much.” “At my grandmother’s.”

Student: “Then what in the world do you do all day???? Sit and twiddle your thumbs?”

Homeschool kid: “I go places and do things. I have a business. I have, like, a real life.”  Unlike him, apparently.


Another curious student to the same kids: “What kind of music do you like?”

Homeschoolers: “Oh, country.” “Celtic.” “Christian contemporary.” “Classical.”

Curious, stunned: “You mean like Bach.”

Homeschooler: “Yes.”

Curious: “Oh.” Wish you could see the face that came with this one.


Instructor: “So what do you do if there’s a squirrel in the road and there’s oncoming traffic?”

Students: “Keep going.” “Swerve anyway.” “I don’t know.”

Instructor: “The point I’m trying to make is that your life is more valuable than a squirrel’s. You don’t agree???”

Student: “Sir, all life is equal!” Hope I’m not crossing the street at the same time as a squirrel when she’s driving!


Instructor: “So, General Eisenhower was very impressed with the German autobahn system and decided to press for an interstate highway system…”

Same Student: “Alpha Trion? Alpha Trion? Like the Transformers?” No kidding.


Instructor, after student answers a question: “Son, you’d better start shining up your bicycle, you’re going to be riding it a very long time…”