For Better or For Worse

by Melanie | August 2nd, 2012

Marriage is supposed to last a lifetime, for better or for worse, but these days, when things get tough, people break up. The sad thing is that it’s the innocent children who really suffer when parents don’t get over their problems. I was reading today a very sweet story about a couple that divorced 48 years ago after 20 years of marriage and are now remarrying. It’s a great feel-good story. That is, until you read it a little more carefully.

It was heartbreaking to me to read quotes like this one:

“I’m as excited as some 9-year-old whose parents are getting back together,” Funderbirk said, “and I’m 65 years old.”

The other children reacted the same way. That’s right, 48 long years later, the children of the marriage were still emotionally invested in it; still heartbroken their parents broke up and now delighted they were finally getting back together. Forty-eight years those children hurt. And, why? What tragic circumstances led to that home breaking up? We just don’t know, but we do know that the couple hasn’t seen each other since 1996 and that’s the only time since the divorce. They just decided to get over it, evidently. It’s sad they didn’t decide that in 1964.

Please understand, I am not coming down on this couple, they are finally doing the right thing, but I want all of us married folk to stop and think. When we are angry at our mates, when we want to walk out, who are we thinking about? Are we thinking about the children who’ll bear that burden for 48 years or more? Are we thinking about the mate we promised to love ’til death do us part? Or are we just thinking about ourselves? It’s worth thinking about.

I’m so glad this couple’s children lived long enough to see their parents reunite. Let’s make sure the children we know and love never have to go through that at all!

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Hey, and if you need some help making your marriage something to enjoy not just endure, check out our Marriage Retreat Online!

  • Cdskelly

    And let us not forget that the vow we make on our wedding day isn’t actually to our spouse at all.

    • kwalt

      Which is why the gay marriage debate is so heart-breaking. People do not know what marriage is. I tell friends when they ask my view, marriage is a 3-way binding between God, a man, and a woman. It is a covenant that is never to be broken. Only your death can free you from it, which is why Jesus called someone who divorces and remarries an adulterer, not simply a divorcee; the original marriage is not broken. When you promise “for life,” God expects you to honor that. As He would. Better and worse. Marriage is a religious institution, and thus human beings have no authority to change its definition. If you are not religious, you should not even get married, because why would you want to be bound for life to a God you do not love nor serve? I had one friend tell me that I had no right to exclude gays from my club. To which I replied, ‘marriage isn’t a club, my dear.’ This profound misunderstanding of the purpose of marriage -and the commitment involved- is truly sad. And when Christians are leading the way in divorces, we lose all credibility. Not to mention the heartbreak of the children involved in them.

  • Jkbrixey

    My parents divorced when I was in 4th grade. I am now 24 and married with my own child. I just recently had both parents in my home and at one point we were the only three at the table. I said something about how I hadnt had a dinner with both of my parents since they split up when I was in 4th grade. Many never realize the things you miss the most when your parents…the two people you love and admire…split up. How sad is it that I had to wait that long for such a simple act. Divorces effect the children in more ways then anyone can ever capture. They miss out on so much. They often feel bad for enjoying time with the other parent because they are sad the other one is not there. Its a very infair thing. 

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