It’s too soon to know the full story of why the ship was off course and steering into the narrow channel. There are probably explanations of why the crew members initially told passengers to sit tight, it was just an electrical problem. Truth, rumor and conjecture get hopelessly mixed in an emergency, and compared to other events like an airplane crash or a building fire, a shipwreck happens in slow motion. Maybe there was an electrical problem which interfered with navigation and steering, and at the moment, some crew members had no better information themselves. Hopefully the truth will come out soon.

What is immediately disturbing though is reports that the captain left the vessel almost immediately after the collision, and that men among the passengers did not give place to “women and children first” as the call went out. What was expected as the duty of a gentleman in 1912 – as husbands and fathers, let alone unaccompanied men, gave up their places on the lifeboats of the Titanic – seems to be slipping away as the constant drumbeat of women-and-men-are-no-different erodes the biblical norms in our culture.

This “every man for himself” behavior happens when men are not taught from early years that their first responsibility in a disaster is not to preserve themselves, but to make sure that they use their strength and leadership to save others first. The greater the honor and position, the greater the responsibility — Jesus said,

“For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more “ (Luke 12:48), and

“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends,“ (John 15:13).

That’s what makes the captain’s action the most shameful. No one expects him to go down with his ship (and in the shallows, he’d have to dive overboard to make the gesture). We do expect that the commander makes sure his passengers and crew are accounted for before saving his sorry hide himself.

How should a young man look at an emergency?

1. First, a man needs to stay calm. When people lose their composure, they act foolishly and do things like run past escape routes, ignore empty lifeboats, and trample other people.  When men panic, it can frighten other people into losing their cool, too. Rudyard Kipling wrote about steadfastness in the face of catastrophe and he started his manifesto for manhood with the words,

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too; …

It’s that important.

2. Figure out where you can help.  A young man by himself needs to look for someone who needs assistance. It might be an older adult or a family with children or a young person without a guardian. It may be someone injured or in need of comfort. Occasionally it might be help with the crew, holding a door or helping carry a piece of equipment or rescue supplies.

A young man with companions needs to look out for their needs.  Are you able to assist your mother, sisters, younger brothers, grandparents? Then do so as your primary responsibility. 

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)

3. Women and children first.  The reports from the Costa said part of the problem was men unwilling to be separated from their families. This is totally understandable and indeed, honorable, if there’s clearly room for all. In this case, the list of the ship made it impossible to launch many of the lifeboats and rafts.  The blessing was that the ship was plainly just a few hundred yards from the shore, and even a non-swimmer in a life vest should have been able to paddle his way to safety in the calm conditions. (Remembering Rule 1, stay calm.)

How to manage this? I think the key was probably to recognize separation was almost certainly just temporary. If the men had agreed with their wives on how they would make contact on shore, they could have escaped by separate ways with less anxiety. In this case, agree to stay with the group as much as possible, or if separated there too,  leave word with the police on shore when you make land. In other circumstances, you might agree to meet at the car, or the restaurant across the street, or at the mailbox at the corner – any landmark in the area, a little ways from the emergency. Beside the anxiety over possible loss of life, the simple worry of being lost and alone is frightening.  Having a plan, even one improvised at the moment, is a great comfort.

Emergencies do happen, and we’ve found a young man with a clear head can be a rock to those around him. It can mean the difference between life and death sometimes, without rushing into the teeth of danger but just by finding the safest way out of it.  This disaster, with its great drama but limited tragedy, is a terrific opportunity to talk about how to handle the ultimate stress as a real man should.

PHOTO: Roberto Vongher, Wikipedia 

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Boys need heroes, and they’ll seek them out if we don’t provide them. Our workshop, “Where’s Roy Rogers When You Need Him?” has practical ideas for finding worthwhile role models in real life, history, and the culture, and help you teach your whole family how to be more discerning about what they see in the media!  CD is just $5 plus shipping.

‘Shake off those gloomy feelings. Drive them away. Fix your mind and pleasures upon what is before you. … All is bright if you will think it so. All is happy if you will make it so. Do not dream. It is too ideal, too imaginary. Dreaming by day, I mean. Live in the world you inhabit. Look upon things as they are. Make the best of them. Turn them to your advantage.””

H.W. Crocker, Robert E. Lee on Leadership, p. 16

This week, I read that the best way to show repect to a girl is to gouge her in the eye, slam her to the ground, and lay on top of her.  That’s what ESPN columnist Rick Reilly thinks.

Joel Northrup is a teenaged wrestler who said he didn’t think so.  He was willing to risk a state title to prove it.  While he defaulted the match, I think Joel is the winner.

Joel is a homeschooler wrestling with a public high school team in Iowa.  In the first round of the state championship last week, Joel was scheduled against Cassy Herkelman, a girl competing in the same weight class.  Like many states, Iowa’s high school wrestling is co-ed, and there was another female wrestler competing in the same tournament.  Rather than get down and violent with a girl, Joel decided to default the match.

“I have a tremendous amount of respect for Cassy and Megan and their accomplishments. However, wrestling is a combat sport and it can get violent at times. As a matter of conscience and my faith I do not believe that is appropriate for a boy to engage a girl in this manner,” he said. “It is unfortunate that I have been placed in a situation not seen in most other high school sports in Iowa.”

Dr. Albert Mohler at Southern Baptist Seminary had an excellent commentary on the situation, including links to several source stories .  (link:  http://www.albertmohler.com/2011/02/22/boys-wrestling-girls-a-clash-of-worlds-and-worldviews/)  This is my two cents.

Our sons need to be ready to compete against girls, and later women, both in academic and career circles.  I don’t think competition is the problem here.  There is no reason to balk at good, serious competition in the classroom or the office or the factory floor, in any field where both men and women are present.

I don’t see a problem with boys and girls completing at tennis, golf, softball, or most other sports.  When I was in college, I lived in an apartment dormitory which also housed the women’s softball team.  They were nice girls, but when they were throwing balls around on the front lawn, it was like cannon fire out there.  No way was I playing catch with those ladies.  They call it GRRL POWER in some circles.  I’m not worried about their ability to compete if they want to.

I might even differ with Joel on the “combat” issue.  Is fencing a problem?  Or shooting sports?  I’m better with a long gun, but I think my wife is a better pistol marksman.

The issue is not competition generally nor sports, in most cases, nor even the combative nature of it.  The problem is inherent to the nature of wrestling.

I don’t think the problem is purely sexual, either.  Oh, that’s part of it, for certain.  Wrestling is the only sport I know where sexual assault has been alleged during competition.  I’m not making this up – a high school wrestler actually filed a criminal complaint that he’d been sexually assaulted by an opponent using a hold which I won’t describe except to say I understand the victim’s problem.

Wrestling involves a lot of very close contact, and lots of very intimate grappling.  As a practical matter, I don’t think even a hormonal teenager has much chance to think sexually during an intense three-minute match where he has to avoid getting thrown and pinned himself.  But I’m probably underestimating the young male mind, and it’s not good in principle, anyway.

The ones I’m worried about are the girls.  Not Cassy, really.  She and her father apparently made a decision they are happy with.  Let them deal with it.  I’m worried about the other girls, the ones who aren’t wrestling.

The problem is that wrestling is a sport that requires total, overwhelming dominance of an opponent.  That’s how you win.  And I don’t ever want my son to ever grow accustomed to the idea that grappling with a woman, forcing her to the ground, and physically overwhelming her in spite of her resistance somehow makes him a winner.

That’s why the fact that this is a controversy – the fact that anyone even thought for a minute that allowing this situation was a step forward for women – just astounds me.  If you came up on a young man pinning a struggling girl to the ground in a park, you’d call police.  If the same thing was happening in front of a thousand spectators with a referee, you call it sport.

Some of us have definitely lost our minds.  Joel Northrup, thank you, still has his.

There is a reason for stereotypes–sometimes, they are caricatures of something which may have a basis in fact.  Boys, and the men they become, do tend to respect strength, independence, athletic skill, things like that.  They are also prone to abuses of those things — the strong may be bullies, the independent may be rebellious, the athletes may be over-proud of their skills or simply devoted to their own amusement.  There is a balance to find in all of these.

But being a “real man” isn’t about fulfilling stereotypes.  It’s not about being able to bench press 450 pounds,  earn your first million before you turn thirty, or fathering a child before you turn 18.  It’s not about wrestling alligators or growing a thicket of chest hair. Rather, becoming a real man is a matter of meeting the challenge and calling that God has given you.  Simply that, and it’s enough to occupy all your time and attention and strength, without aspiring to cartoonish levels of physical conditioning or hypermasculine behavior or sacrificing all for a pot of gold.

Caroline & Charles Ingalls, Laura's Ma & Pa

We’re reading the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder.  Young Laura is the central character, but the center of the family is Pa Ingalls.  He loves his wife and children, he works night and day to provide even a meager living for them, but as long as he can stand, he gives his all for the family.  What’s more, he doesn’t give in.  In On The Banks of Plum Creek, Pa was so delighted with the lush crop of wheat on his Minnesota homestead, he made an uncharacteristic gamble and borrowed against the expected harvest to buy materials to build a house.  When locusts appeared and stripped the entire field, it rocked his world.  But then it got worse.  As he was plowing under the ruined stalks, he suddenly stopped, then put away the team and the plow and came into the house.

Ma looked up at him and said, “Charles! What is the matter now?”

“The grasshoppers are laying their eggs,” said Pa. “The ground’s honeycombed with them.  Look at the dooryard, and you’ll see the pits where the eggs are buried a couple of inches deep.  All over the wheat-field. Everywhere. You can’t put your finger between them.  Look here.”

He took one of those gray things from his pocket and held it out on his hand.

“That’s one of ‘em, a pod of grasshopper eggs.  I’ve been cutting them open.  There’s thirty-five or forty eggs in every pod. There’s a pod in every hole. There’s eight or ten holes to the square foot. All over this whole country.”

Ma dropped down in a chair and let her hands fall helpless at her sides.

“We’ve got no more chance of making a crop next year than we have of flying,” said Pa. “When those eggs hatch, there won’t be a green thing left in this part of the world.”

“Oh, Charles!” Ma said. “What will we do?”

Pa slumped down on a bench and said, “I don’t know.” …

Laura’s sister Mary came downstairs,

… without a sound.  She stood close beside Laura, backed against the wall.

Pa straightened up.  His dim eyes brightened with a fierce light, not like the twinkle Laura had always seen in them.

“But I do know this, Caroline,” he said. “No pesky mess of grasshoppers can beat us! We’ll do something! You’ll see! We’ll get along somehow.”

“Yes, Charles,” said Ma.

“Why not?” said Pa. “We’re healthy, we’ve got a roof over our heads; we’re better off than lots of folks. You get an early dinner, Caroline. I’m going to town. I’ll find something to do. Don’t you worry!”

[Laura Ingalls Wilder, On The Banks of Plum Creek, pp 208-209]

All through the series you see this — Charles Ingalls refuses to be defeated.  Even when he has to walk three hundred miles to find work to pay off his debts, even when he loses his Kansas homestead to a surveying error, even when trapped by blizzards (more than once!), Pa always gets control of his very reasonable fears, worries, or alarms, and buckles down to do what he needs to do.  He’s not flashy, eloquent, or especially remarkable from a worldly standpoint — but he understands his responsibility to work hard, provide for his family’s needs and safety, and lives with integrity.  That’s a real man.

Martin Luther, Lucas Cranach, 1532

Another, very different example, is my hero Martin Luther.  We look back at the great reformer he became, but in 1521 he was just a priest who had been fired by his monastic order, excommunicated by the pope, and called before the Holy Roman Emperor and church authorities to retract his teaching.  Luther knew very well that other men had burned at the stake for what he was about to say, but he looked the Emperor in the eye and told him,

Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Scriptures or by clear reason … I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted and my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and will not recant anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience.  Here I stand; I can do nothing else.  Amen.

I don’t agree 100% with Luther’s theology, but I have tremendous respect for his courage.  Luther was a scholar, not an action hero.  He was a law student who was frightened into a monastery by a lightning bolt.  Yet here he stood alone, willing to die for what some considered just an academic issue or a matter for debate among churchmen, but he was convinced was eternal and true.

This is what we are trying to teach our sons, and what we try to communicate in our book. Our geeky guys may do a far greater service than our more stereotypical ones – imagine someone frantically coding on his laptop, protecting a Christian site in a closed country from infiltration from their tyrannical government. It takes just as much manly virtue of courage and initiative to do that as it does to lead a safari – and is eternally important, to boot!

If God has called you to be a steelworker or a lumberjack or a commercial fisherman, go with God’s blessing!  If He has called you to be a professional pianist or a social worker or a software analyst, strive for excellence in His sight!   But whatever you do, always be true to His calling to “do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8)

We talk about Admiral David Farragut (of “D— the torpedoes – full speed ahead!” Civil War fame) in our book and in several of our workshops.  The incident below happened during the War of 1812, when he was a young midshipman on the USS Essex, sailing off the coast of South America and harrassing British vessels in the South Pacific.  The practice of the time was that any ship captured in the course of war could be claimed as a prize, taken to a friendly port, and sold off as a bonus to the crew.  On this cruise, the Essex had a string of successful engagements with the enemy:

By this time [Captain David Porter] had captured so many vessels that he was compelled to draw on the midshipmen for prize masters, and in the trip from Tumbez to Valparaiso, he put the ship Barclay, with her ex-captain retained on board to help navigate her, under the command of Midshipman Farragut, then not quite twelve years old. At the very outset, the lad was compelled to settle the question of command with the big whaler, who swore that he would take the Barclay to New Zealand instead of Valparaiso, and went below to get his pistols. The other vessels of the squadron were by this time too far away to communicate with, but Farragut, after telling his right hand man of the prize crew what the situation was, shouted down the cabin ladder that if the whaler came up with his pistols he did so at the risk of going overboard. Finding that the crew were ready to stand by their young commander, the ex- captain had to give in. From that moment Farragut was master of the situation and navigated the Barclay without mishap to Valparaiso.

From Capt. George Ramsey Clark, et al., A Short History of the United States Navy (Philadelphia: J. B. Lippincott, 1911), p. 178.

Thank you and God bless you, all veterans everywhere!

Martin Luther was a young German law student when he underwent a remarkable religious conversion.  Taking a bolt of lightning as a warning from God, he left the university and entered the Augustinian order as a monk.  From there, his restless search for peace with God led him to the Bible, then a doctorate in theology, then a teaching position with the tiny University of Wittenberg in German Saxony. 

Attempting to address certain abuses in the medieval Catholic Church, the young Dr. Luther posted a challenge to other scholars to debate a number of practices he questioned.  On October 31, 1517, he nailed the notice to the door of the university church, a common practice itself since the broad heavy doors were routinely used as bulletin boards.  The list of propositions known as “The 95 Theses” lit a firestorm of controversy that quickly spread across Germany and central Europe.  Luther had attracted the attention not only of academics and churchmen like himself, but the wrath of Pope Leo X and the Holy Roman Emperor, Charles V, as well!

Called before the Imperial Diet at the town of Worms*, Luther was challenged to withdraw his proposals and repudiate his writings.  In the front of everybody’s mind was the memory that the Czech reformer, Jan Hus, had made many of the same propositions decades earlier — and was burned at the stake in consequence. 

Luther’s response, after begging a recess to consider the Emperor’s demand, followed a sleepless night of anxious prayer.  When called for his answer the next dawn, Luther replied:

Since then Your Majesty and your lordships desire a simple reply, I will answer without horns and without teeth. Unless I am convinced by Scripture and plain reason–I do not accept the authority of popes and councils, for they have contradicted each other–my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and I will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe.

Here I stand.  I cannot do otherwise. God help me. Amen.

Knowing what had happened to others who raised the issues he had, Luther stared death in the face and stood on the word of God – never mind Pope or Emperor.  What an incredible, gutsy thing to do.  It’s one of my favorite events in history.

Here at the Youngs’, we make a big deal out of Reformation Day (October 31).  We eat German food for supper, usually bratwurst, sauerkraut and German potato salad, then troop into the den to watch Martin Luther, a terrific B&W documentary made in 1954 and starring Niall MacGinnis as the reformer.  The movie was filmed at the actual location of some events, and they did a good job finding actors who actually looked like Luther, Charles, and Pope Leo.  And the scene at Worms is classic!

(The DVD is available from several places, but you can download it for $1.99 rental from Amazon.com)

And we do have a concession to the candy-intensive holiday … we play “Pin the Theses on the Wittenberg Door.”  Everybody wins.

*I’ve always loved thinking about “The Diet of Worms,” but to be fair, it’s pronounced “Vorms” in German.

Espinosa was walking a teacher to her car earlier this year when another vehicle bore down on them in the crosswalk.  He managed to push the teacher to safety but was struck by the car himself and suffered head and leg injuries; the teacher suffered fractures to her foot. Both are still recovering from the accident.

The Honor Medal is awarded to only three or four Scouts each year; the Crossed Palms are added “for extreme risk to life and personal safety,” according to a Scouting official. Espinosa’s decisive action in the face of danger likely saved the teacher’s life.

Espinosa avoids the accolade of “hero”, saying instead,

“The main thing I want them to know is to always be a gentleman and try to help people …  And to really love what you have at the moment because you never know what is going to happen.”

The whole story appeared in the Houston Chronicle.

According to the story in the Charlotte Observer, the 21-year-old said he had joined the gang as a young teen and took part in as many as 40 robberies, but no murders.

The young gang member decided to help police bring down his MS-13 gang in Charlotte after his mother found out what he was up to – and his brothers began to follow in his footsteps.

“I was tired of seeing my mother cry,” he told jurors on Friday.

From the witness stand at the federal courthouse in Charlotte, the 21-year-old described how he worked with police to gather details about the gang’s activities. He secretly videotaped gang meetings and drug buys. And he worried constantly, he said, that word of his cooperation would get back to the gang.

“If they knew I had spoken to police,” he said, “they would take me and my family out in a second.”

He and his family have been enrolled in the witness protection program and relocated to prevent retribution by the gang.

3D Reconstruction, Hudson River Ditching

An incredible example of excellence, courage and clear thinking under pressure.

EXCELLENCE - The Miracle on the Hudson: Decades of training and practice saved the lives of 155 people when Capt. Cheseley Sullenburger successfully landed his crippled airliner in the only clear spot in downtown Manhattan – the Hudson River.  A man who committed himself to doing his job right, and in the most stressful situation possible, did the right thing without losing his cool.

IMMATURITY – The Death of Michael Jackson: An entertainment phenomenon but a man who never really grew up, who surrounded himself with other people’s children, built his own amusement park, and made and squandered fortunes pursuing a Peter Pan ideal of never-ending childhood – and a bizarre one, at that.

COURAGE - You Do What You Have To Do: When a gunman opened fire in a nursing home, killing seven residents and a staff member, Officer Justin Garner of the Carthage (N.C.) Police Department entered the building and confronted the heavily armed suspect in a hallway, exchanging fire in a face-to-face showdown that left the killer wounded and under arrest.  Garner was the only officer on duty in the small town that Sunday morning.

LUST AND DECEPTION - This Life Will Self-Destruct in Five, Four, Three … : Tiger Woods was the model of a professional athlete – fantastic skill in competition, fantastic wealth from his commercial endorsements, and a squeaky clean reputation.  A really nice guy, just like South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford.  The governor was a social and fiscal conservative, proponent of school choice, family man and churchgoer.  There was talk of national opportunities, either for a presidential bid or as a strong VP candidate.

But both of them were caught in long-term adulterous affairs that not only wrecked their families but have likely ended Sanford’s career and ruined Tiger’s financial empire.  Be sure your sin will find you out.

DECISIVENESS -  When Seconds Count: Dutch filmmaker Jasper Schuringa’s prompt action separated a terrorist from his bomb and helped extinguish the fire it had started, thus preventing the destruction of a Northwest Airlines plane in December.

WEAKNESS - Not A “Profile In Courage”: As the Senate considered a health care bill plagued with loopholes, special exemptions, and provisions still to be determined, one senator stood in the path blocking immediate passage – Senator Ben Nelson (D-Nebraska).  Nelson, elected as a staunch pro-life candidate, refused to vote with his party if the bill did not include language blocking federal funding of abortion, like the Stupak amendment passed by the House.  After several weeks of principled opposition, Nelson suddenly rolled over in exchange for federal funding of his state’s Medicaid responsibilities.

SELF-SACRIFICE – Greater Love Hath No Man: Somali pirates stormed the Maersk Alabama off the coast of Africa.  Captain Richard Phillips persuaded them to release his 19-man crew and take him as their sole hostage.  He was rescued by Navy SEALs four days later.

OPTIMISM - Let Your Mind Dwell On These Things: Legendary radio broadcaster Paul Harvey died this year, finishing a 70-year career in radio and TV.  Harvey not only reported straight-up news but delighted in celebrating faithful marriages, sharing stories with uplifting themes, and honoring everyday heroes and humanitarians.  His syndicated radio programs reached over 25 million listeners each week with thoughtful and encouraging commentary.

GREED – More More More: Financier Bernie Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison after conviction for running an investment scam worth over $65 billion. Notable among his thousands of individual victims were a number of religious charities.  With his understanding of financial markets, how much legitimate good could he have done?

VIRTUE - Why the Surprise? University of Florida quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow startled reporters at a July press conference when one asked whether he was “saving himself for marriage” and he confidently replied “Yes, I am.”  When the reporter was too surprised to ask his follow on question, Tebow laughed and said, “I was ready for that question. I don’t think y’all were.”  The son of Christian missionaries has taken many public stands for traditional values and the Gospel.

Photo courtesy of Greg L., Wikimedia Commons