It wasn’t an unusual request, so I stepped aside with her. “I need to ask you about my son. I think he may be…I’m afraid he might be…showing some tendencies toward being…Oh, I think something’s wrong with him! Maybe he’s a psychopath or something!”

My eyebrows went up. “What would make you think that?” I replied, wondering if she was going to tell me he was torturing small animals or being a firebug.

“Well, he plays war all the time! And that means he’s pretending to kill people! And sometimes he pretends like he’s been shot and he pretends to die! That’s not normal is it?”

I relaxed. “Let me explain something to you. You are a girl, a mother. When you think of war, you think of orphans and widows, POWs and disabled veterans. You imagine your son coming home bloodied and beaten. It’s scary and brutal, right?”

“Yes, of course! Doesn’t everyone think that way?”

“No! When your son thinks of war, he is thinking of valiant deeds, courage, and bravery. He’s imagining standing up to the evil to protect the weak and innocent. When he pretends to be shot, he’s picturing nobly laying down his life for his brothers in arms. To him, it’s all about testing his strength and showing himself mighty when it counts, it’s about manliness and honor.”

Hope dawned in her eyes. “Really? I never thought about it that way! Is that really why he’s obsessed with war and battle?”

“Yes, certainly. Of course, the explosions don’t hurt the attraction any,” I smiled at her.

Yesterday, on the 67th anniversary of the start of the Battle of the Bulge, Life Magazine released some never before seen shots of the Ardennes during the Battle. They are really quite remarkable, some even in full color. Gather your children around and take a look at them. Take time to tell them about the great, glorious fight against one of the most evil leaders the world has seen — and don’t be worried when they are fascinated with war!

For manly, historical and inspiring gifts for boys fascinated with war, from King Arthur swords to rubberband machine guns, click here!

For inspiring stories of the heroes of American History that teach virtue and character, get our Hero Tales from American History dramatized audiobooks by Theodore Roosevelt and Henry Cabot Lodge. Order by midnight, Monday, December 20th for Christmas delivery.

‘Shake off those gloomy feelings. Drive them away. Fix your mind and pleasures upon what is before you. … All is bright if you will think it so. All is happy if you will make it so. Do not dream. It is too ideal, too imaginary. Dreaming by day, I mean. Live in the world you inhabit. Look upon things as they are. Make the best of them. Turn them to your advantage.””

H.W. Crocker, Robert E. Lee on Leadership, p. 16

He disciplined himself to accept things as they were, to do his duty cheerfully because there was no sense in doing it any other way, and to do what he thought right without expectation of reward or recognition In his own words, it was enough to have “the satisfaction that proceeds from the consciousness of duty faithfully performed.”

H.W. Crocker, on the character of Robert E. Lee
Robert E. Lee on Leadership, p. 23

Martin Luther was a young German law student when he underwent a remarkable religious conversion.  Taking a bolt of lightning as a warning from God, he left the university and entered the Augustinian order as a monk.  From there, his restless search for peace with God led him to the Bible, then a doctorate in theology, then a teaching position with the tiny University of Wittenberg in German Saxony. 

Attempting to address certain abuses in the medieval Catholic Church, the young Dr. Luther posted a challenge to other scholars to debate a number of practices he questioned.  On October 31, 1517, he nailed the notice to the door of the university church, a common practice itself since the broad heavy doors were routinely used as bulletin boards.  He chose the Eve of All Saint’s Day, or All Hallow’s Eve, to post the theses because that was a festival day which would see the church full of the scholars he wanted to discuss these things with. The list of propositions known as “The 95 Theses” lit a firestorm of controversy that quickly spread across Germany and central Europe.  Luther had attracted the attention not only of academics and churchmen like himself, but the wrath of Pope Leo X and the Holy Roman Emperor, Charles V, as well!

Called before the Imperial Diet at the town of Worms*, Luther was challenged to withdraw his proposals and repudiate his writings.  In the front of everybody’s mind was the memory that the Czech reformer, Jan Hus, had made many of the same propositions decades earlier — and was burned at the stake in consequence. 

Luther’s response, after begging a recess to consider the Emperor’s demand, followed a sleepless night of anxious prayer.  When called for his answer the next dawn, Luther replied:

Since then Your Majesty and your lordships desire a simple reply, I will answer without horns and without teeth. Unless I am convinced by Scripture and plain reason–I do not accept the authority of popes and councils, for they have contradicted each other–my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and I will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe.

Here I stand.  I cannot do otherwise. God help me. Amen.

Knowing what had happened to others who raised the issues he had, Luther stared death in the face and stood on the word of God – never mind Pope or Emperor.  In fact, he was declared outlaw by the Emporor and faced:

Confiscation and loss of body and belongings and all goods, fixed and movable, half of which will go to the Lord, and the other half to the accusers and denouncers. With other punishments as given more fully in the present edict and mandate.

Jan Hus Burned at the Stake

Notice loss of body — that’s called martyrdom — that’s what he faced. Among other things. What an incredible, gutsy thing to do.  It’s one of our favorite events in history.

What was Luther’s philosophy that put him in such conflict with the Church of the day? One way to summarize it is called the Five Solas:

Sola Scriptura – Scripture Alone
Solus Christus – Christ Alone
Sola Gratia – Grace Alone
Sola Fide – Faith Alone
Soli Deo Gloria – The Glory of God Alone

All of that flowed out of Luther’s realization of the meaning of “the just shall live by faith.”

Here at the Youngs’, we make a big deal out of Reformation Day (October 31).  It’s a great time to teach our children the heroism of the fathers of our faith as well as our sure foundation: salvation by grace through faith in the substitionary death of the God-man Jesus Christ. That means that as God made flesh, He was infinite in nature and had no sins of his own to die for, so could die for the sins of all his people, taking the death they deserved on Himself. What a rich truth!

On Reformation Day, we eat German, usually bratwurst, sauerkraut and hot German potato salad, then troop into the den to watch Martin Luther, a terrific B&W documentary made in 1954 and starring Niall MacGinnis as the reformer.  The movie was filmed at the actual location of some events, and they did a good job finding actors who actually looked like Luther, Charles, and Pope Leo.  And the scene at Worms is classic!

(The DVD is available from several places, but and is now available streaming from Netflix.)

During breaks we love to sing hymns of the Reformation like A Mighty Fortress is Our God, written by Martin Luther, Now Thank We All Our God, written by a Lutheran pastor during the Thirty Years War (one of the Reformation Wars) after a dreadful seige that saw him officiating at 50 funerals a day, and We Gather Together, written after a victory in the battle between the Reformed population of the Netherlands and the might of Spain, whose General Alva slew men women and children alike as heretics, unworthy of keeping his word towards.

And we do have a concession to the candy-intensive holiday … we play “Pin the Theses on the Wittenberg Door.”  We draw big fancy wooden doors on brown paper with a different treat written on each panel. We use Post-it(TM) notes for the Theses.  Everybody wins, which the boys don’t mind as long as they get lots of candy!

Our friends are getting in to the spirit of things, too. One year friends of ours came in the middle of the night and stuck a copy of the Theses on our door with a bag of candy and a sign, “You’ve been nailed!”

Instead of justifying Christians participating in a holiday that is in no wise holy, why not celebrate a real Christian holiday this year? 

*I’ve always loved thinking about “The Diet of Worms,” but to be fair, it’s pronounced “Vorms” in German.

Read Part One of our thoughts on the holiday here.

Read Part Two here.

But there is a practical question, quite apart from the trick-or-treat and bags-of-candy aspect. If you leave aside the more grown-up temptation to put don a mask and do anonymous mischief, what prompts our kids and particularly our boys to choose certain types of costumes and identities to put on?

“I think I know,” I said, moving into the turn lane. “I wondered the same thing about grown men wearing a hat with a superhero logo on it, and it’s the same as wearing an NFL jersey. Boys, and men, want respect. They want to be associated with the concept of strength, power, and capability, and if they can’t get respect, they’ll settle for being feared.

“I think the spooky costumes are a way of saying, ‘I’m not afraid of ghosts, but you should be afraid of me—Boo!’”

Working along that line of thought, I realized it has some interesting implications in how we parent our boys.

For one thing, how should we respond to that craving for respect in a boy? First, it’s our sons’ duty to learn obedience toward God-ordained authority. Jesus was the Son of God, but as a young man He submitted Himself to being governed by human parents: “And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them … and Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man,” the Gospel of Luke says of the twelve-year-old Jesus (2:51-52). Our sons do need to recognize that they have a place, and it’s not one of equality with their parents.

But even while we do that, we the parents can recognize his desire to be respected, even at a young age. Some people laugh about the “fragile male ego,” but it’s not really a laughing matter. A great deal of a man’s self-identity is wrapped up in his reputation. A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches (Proverbs 22:1).

As a practical matter, we try to be careful how we speak to our sons, especially in front of others—even family members. They need correction and even discipline from time to time—if you are left without discipline, then you are illegitimate children and not sons (Hebrews 12:8)—but as much as possible, we try to administer the correction in private. And when we need to just give them verbal direction, we try not to belittle them. Someone said that a small dog is just as big inside as a big one; I think it applies to boys in some ways, too.

That desire to be associated with strong examples is not a bad thing. Paul tells believers to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 13:14) and to “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1 and several other places). So we try to get our boys really good examples to follow. The world and its media recognizes brute strength and the force of will; do your sons have examples of manly gentleness, humility, duty, and moral as well as physical courage?

This time of year, coincidentally, is the birthday of the Reformation. We always take time to talk about Martin Luther and his willingness to lay down his life for the sake of truth. “My conscience is captive to the Word of God,” he told the Emperor, “and to go against conscience is neither right nor safe … I cannot and I will not recant. Here I stand; I can do no other; God help me.” There’s a great B&W movie about him that we’ve probably watched twenty times. (You can also get it streaming on Netflix.)

Another example, not so famous, is the American historian Francis Parkman. He had to overcome incredible, painful illness and disability, to carry out his scholarly work documenting the history of the early American West. Theodore Roosevelt, a man of great character himself, dedicated one of his books to Parkman, and tells his story in Hero Tales from American History, a change from the stories of explorers and soldiers. Roosevelt also talked about John Quincy Adams’ long fight against slavery, serving as a Congressmen after he finished his term as president. (You can hear both of these stories on part 3 of our Hero Tales audiobook – see below!)

So as you see the little goblins in the streets this week, take a minute and think about the children underneath the masks. What are they thinking (besides “Who’s got the best candy,” I mean)? Are they looking for someone to follow? Or making a statement about what they’d like to be? Those can be some very interesting openings for you to follow up as a parent.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR HEROES?  THESE RESOURCES CAN HELP!

Where Is Roy Rogers When You Need Him?  is our workshop about our boys’ need for heroes and role models, and ideas about where to find them. $5 on CD, or $4 for mp3 download.

NEW! Hero Tales from American History – Part 3

The next volume of our popular audiobook series from the book by Theodore Roosevelt and Henry Cabot Lodge. Hear the dramatized stories of the backwoods general who beat the British army – a former president’s fight against slavery – the suffering scholar of the American West – and the opening battles of the War Between The States!  Introductory price only $5 (Regular price $7) To be released in November!

Or you can order the whole set – from the birth of George Washington to the War Between the States – for just $15 (Save $6 and get free shipping, too!)

Read Part One here and Part Three here of our thoughts on the season.

King Henry V at the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, John Gilbert (1817-1897)

 King Henry V of England was hopelessly outnumbered by the approaching French Army, but he stood firm and roused his troops, commending them to the hands of God and each other, and led them to a decisive victory that was the beginning of the end of the dominance of the nobility in warfare. For centuries, the heavily armored knights on horseback fielded by the nobility of each land were the overwhelming force of warfare. Henry, instead, placed his English longbowmen in the forefront of battle — and defeated the French horse! Some say the “V for victory” sign descended from the victory salute of the two stringfingers of the longbowmen in response to a French before-battle threat to cut off the string fingers of all the longbowmen after they won.

This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember’d;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

Henry V, William Shakespeare

Scanning over the words, I see something very different than the original researcher did…

The words used in advertising toys for boys are things like battle, power, heroes, action, stealth, and mission, while the words used to advertise to girls are love, fun, friendship, magic, babies, mommy, hair, and style. So, do you think this is about “How Toy Ad Vocabulary Reinforces Gender Stereotypes?” We don’t think so. We think that advertisers use words that sell, and these words sell not because kids are forced into stereotypical gender roles, but because boys and girls are reflecting how they are made.

The boys’ words reflect dominion, conquering, competition, risk-taking or adventurousness, and accomplishing a mission. There’s nothing wrong with that. God made men to be protectors and providers.

The girls’ words are relationship-oriented, focusing on nurturing, friendship, and making yourself lovely. Nothing wrong with that as long as the adornment is not merely outward (and we do understand outward is what these ads are talking about). God made women to be the keepers of the home – think lighthouse keeper or keeper of the garden – who would creatively nurture their families and be the helpers of their husbands. Yes, boys can (and should) nurture and girls can (and should) conquer, but that’s not their main role.  Surprisingly, these ads are fairly accurate in describing what men and women are like.

Now, the toys themselves, well that’s another story. Many, if not most of them advertised in the mass media are terribly problematic. Girl dolls that look like rebellious and immoral women. Boys encouraged to play the part of evil characters. We find it fascinating, though, that when advertisers want to motivate sales, they fall back on the created order.

Dear Friends,

We have been nominated for the Christian Small Publisher Book of the Year, which honors books produced by small publishers each year for outstanding contribution to Christian life. The really exciting part is that this award allows everyone to vote – publishers, retailers, authors, and yes, readers, too!  This is the last week that voting is allowed, so we are going to be celebrating – and asking you to vote – until March 31st. Stay tuned for great give-aways and freebies every day this week.

We were delighted that our son could enjoy the same books his brothers had and grow up with the same heroes, but also that he was able to learn to understand complex language. That helped so much when his reading caught up! He jumped right to reading on grade level!

We discovered another benefit, though. We all loved listening to the Hentys as we were working or driving. They are stories that are just bound to grab your attention!

But why Jim Hodges when there are several folks doing the same thing? Well, we first chose Jim Hodges because all his books are unabridged! We wanted our boys to hear the whole thing – all about the geographic location, the historical setting, and the terrific language - and not to hear some simplified version  that would miss some of the greatness. Also, Jim has a pleasant voice and loves the books himself – makes a difference, that’s the same reason why Hal read Raising Real Men for our audiobook – interpretation counts. I’d choose Jim Hodges now for even more reasons. When we were first starting out, Jim took the time and trouble to help us. He recommended us to his own newsletter list. He gave us advice and counsel on our audiobook. He’s been a real friend to our ministry. Buy from Jim!

A Give-Away!

Jim Hodges is going to give five blessed winners each a G.A. Henty audiobook of their choice! I wish we could compete! So how do you win?

First, go cast your ballot for the Book of the Year. Click here, then scroll down to NONFICTION – RELATIONSHIPS / FAMILY, where we sure hope you will vote for Raising Real Men! Be sure to hit the “Submit Votes” button at the bottom! If you’ve already voted, keep reading…

Then, head over to sign up for Jim Hodge’s newsletter. You ought to, anyway, he has great resources and terrific deals. Click here, and sign up on the lower left!

There, you are entered! Keep an eye out for more giveaways and freebies this week. Oh, and if you have time, what are your favorite books for boys?

We talk about Admiral David Farragut (of “D— the torpedoes – full speed ahead!” Civil War fame) in our book and in several of our workshops.  The incident below happened during the War of 1812, when he was a young midshipman on the USS Essex, sailing off the coast of South America and harrassing British vessels in the South Pacific.  The practice of the time was that any ship captured in the course of war could be claimed as a prize, taken to a friendly port, and sold off as a bonus to the crew.  On this cruise, the Essex had a string of successful engagements with the enemy:

By this time [Captain David Porter] had captured so many vessels that he was compelled to draw on the midshipmen for prize masters, and in the trip from Tumbez to Valparaiso, he put the ship Barclay, with her ex-captain retained on board to help navigate her, under the command of Midshipman Farragut, then not quite twelve years old. At the very outset, the lad was compelled to settle the question of command with the big whaler, who swore that he would take the Barclay to New Zealand instead of Valparaiso, and went below to get his pistols. The other vessels of the squadron were by this time too far away to communicate with, but Farragut, after telling his right hand man of the prize crew what the situation was, shouted down the cabin ladder that if the whaler came up with his pistols he did so at the risk of going overboard. Finding that the crew were ready to stand by their young commander, the ex- captain had to give in. From that moment Farragut was master of the situation and navigated the Barclay without mishap to Valparaiso.

From Capt. George Ramsey Clark, et al., A Short History of the United States Navy (Philadelphia: J. B. Lippincott, 1911), p. 178.

Thank you and God bless you, all veterans everywhere!

Martin Luther was a young German law student when he underwent a remarkable religious conversion.  Taking a bolt of lightning as a warning from God, he left the university and entered the Augustinian order as a monk.  From there, his restless search for peace with God led him to the Bible, then a doctorate in theology, then a teaching position with the tiny University of Wittenberg in German Saxony. 

Attempting to address certain abuses in the medieval Catholic Church, the young Dr. Luther posted a challenge to other scholars to debate a number of practices he questioned.  On October 31, 1517, he nailed the notice to the door of the university church, a common practice itself since the broad heavy doors were routinely used as bulletin boards.  The list of propositions known as “The 95 Theses” lit a firestorm of controversy that quickly spread across Germany and central Europe.  Luther had attracted the attention not only of academics and churchmen like himself, but the wrath of Pope Leo X and the Holy Roman Emperor, Charles V, as well!

Called before the Imperial Diet at the town of Worms*, Luther was challenged to withdraw his proposals and repudiate his writings.  In the front of everybody’s mind was the memory that the Czech reformer, Jan Hus, had made many of the same propositions decades earlier — and was burned at the stake in consequence. 

Luther’s response, after begging a recess to consider the Emperor’s demand, followed a sleepless night of anxious prayer.  When called for his answer the next dawn, Luther replied:

Since then Your Majesty and your lordships desire a simple reply, I will answer without horns and without teeth. Unless I am convinced by Scripture and plain reason–I do not accept the authority of popes and councils, for they have contradicted each other–my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and I will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe.

Here I stand.  I cannot do otherwise. God help me. Amen.

Knowing what had happened to others who raised the issues he had, Luther stared death in the face and stood on the word of God – never mind Pope or Emperor.  What an incredible, gutsy thing to do.  It’s one of my favorite events in history.

Here at the Youngs’, we make a big deal out of Reformation Day (October 31).  We eat German food for supper, usually bratwurst, sauerkraut and German potato salad, then troop into the den to watch Martin Luther, a terrific B&W documentary made in 1954 and starring Niall MacGinnis as the reformer.  The movie was filmed at the actual location of some events, and they did a good job finding actors who actually looked like Luther, Charles, and Pope Leo.  And the scene at Worms is classic!

(The DVD is available from several places, but you can download it for $1.99 rental from Amazon.com)

And we do have a concession to the candy-intensive holiday … we play “Pin the Theses on the Wittenberg Door.”  Everybody wins.

*I’ve always loved thinking about “The Diet of Worms,” but to be fair, it’s pronounced “Vorms” in German.