Dear Friends and Family,

Hal and I spent the day at Duke today consulting with the oncologist and thoracic surgeon. There is a very large tumor behind Hal’s breastbone. It is providential that it is in this site because if it were *anywhere* else, he could not have had a tumor this large and not known it, so we know it was meant to be that we are in this situation. We are thanking God for pneumonia! There is no way we could have known without it. We must trust God that He has a purpose in this situation. We are back to Duke on Monday for a PET scan then Hal will have a surgical biopsy on Tuesday. Because of the location of the tumor, it is going to be difficult to get to. We should have answers the week after Christmas. Please pray that Hal will be diagnosed quickly, that the cancer will not have spread, that it is treatable and that treatment may begin quickly.

As for the rest of the family, it’s pretty tough there, too. When I write all this stuff down, it seems funny it’s so bad Our tonsillectomy patients are pretty miserable and are having a difficult time drinking enough to stay hydrated. My mother said David was crying during the night last night and Susannah was very unhappy this morning.  Miserable just doesn’t do it justice for Caleb. His face and neck are swollen and painful. He is on very strong narcotics and is still in so much pain he struggles to swallow a spoonful of milkshake. Please pray for him. I am feeling very torn – everybody needs me and I
can’t be everywhere.

Everyone else is now sick, including Matthew and me. I keep hoping each day will mean improvement, but it hasn’t so far. The sick ones alternate feeling okay with chills, fever, sore throat and coughing jags.

Hal’s mother has been here since Friday and she will be going home tomorrow, to return next week, we hope. She and my mother have been a blessed help in all of this.

There is good news, though! John Calvin is returning home tonight and is only a couple of hours away. We long to be together with him and are just praying he stays well – I’ll need for someone to care for Katie at the hospital next week!

We are also seeing some amazing things happening in our ministry. A Christian bookstore in Singapore asked us about a month ago to ship them a case (52) of our book. We were worried that she’d have them forever, but last week she wrote she’d sold 40 in the 3 days after she reviewed it on her blog and then the rest shortly thereafter. She asked me to ship her 30 more. I heard tonight that she’s already sold 25 of them and they haven’t even left the states yet! How amazing that God is using our words on the other side of the world!

Finally, it is a tremendous blessing how the people of God have rallied around us. We have received many wonderful meals, paper products, snacks, groceries, and more. The words of prayer and encouragement you have spoken on the phone, in email, on Facebook and Twitter and in person have been balm to our souls and I don’t know how we would have made it through the last few days without them. Thank you so much, dear ones.

What is the best way to hear what’s going on? We’ll be posting short updates on Facebook and Twitter. We’ll be writing about how this affects the boys as well as our philosophical musings and stories here at our Raising Real Men blog. We have also put together a Carepage for those who want to be sure to keep up with what’s going on with Hal. Click here for Hal’s Carepage. You need to click “Become a Member” and establish a password for yourself, but they will not spam you. They will send you a notice when we post an update and that is a blessing to us when we need to get a prayer request out urgently.

Your love and the love of God sustains us,
Melanie

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

Refrain

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain
–
Hal and Melanie Young
Raising Real Men: Surviving, Teaching and Appreciating Boys
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It’s been one of those weeks for our family. Actually, it’s been one of those years, but that’s a story for a different time. In the midst of Hal’s pneumonia and probable cancer diagnosis, three of the children recovering from surgery, three of the other children sick and getting sicker, our oldest son still at college for exams, and sickness finally overtaking me, it’s been pretty rough around here. If you know anything about us, you may have done the math on that last sentence. There were only seven children mentioned and we have eight. That’s because Matthew is the last man standing.

We’ve had a lot of support from our church, family, and homeschool group, but on a hour by hour basis, there is just a great lot to be done to keep a family our size going. Normally everyone in the house who can walk pitches in and does chores to keep chaos and disorder (mostly) at bay. What happens, though, when the Lord takes out the rest of the troops?? Why, you man up and do what must be done. It started this weekend, before the rest of the boys got sick. When we discovered that Hal was really sick, I rallied the troops and started trying to catch up in the house. We’d been traveling and things had pretty much fallen apart. We did a ton of laundry and cleaned and straightened and everyone worked their hearts out. Then Samuel and Seth got sick. That left Matthew.

That’s a pretty hard mission, to pick up the responsibilities of a whole bunch of siblings, but Dad is down, too. Matthew really is the last man standing. This was brought home when I was sitting here at my desk and suddenly realized that my teeth were chattering. Dragging my attention off of what I was doing, it occured to me that it was about forty degrees where I was sitting and we had a pneumonia patient and two post-operative patients in the house! I called Matt and asked him to check to see if the flue were open, since I sit next to the hearth. He grabbed a flash light and poked his head up there and said, “Yep, it’s open.” He reached up to close it and a huge piece of metal fell into the fireplace! The flue had fallen out entirely!

After a moment of panic, Matt went up to talk to his Dad. I scooted out of there – it was soooo cold – and decided to visit with Hal for awhile. Before long Matthew came up and you could just tell he was victorious. He was standing tall. He grinned and told his Daddy how he’d figured out what to do, found the tools he needed and fixed the chimney. He may have been proud, but we were prouder. He’d been confronted with a job he knew nothing about and there was no one to help. There was no way his sick Dad could have fixed it in that cold. So he did it.

That’s what men do. They stand in the gap. When they find themselves the last man standing, they keep fighting. They go down, if there’s no alternative, still fighting. God made men to be fighters. To fight against sin and evil and disorder and decay. And sometimes laundry and chimneys.

[The painting is “The Battle of Culloden”)

Dearest Friends,

I didn’t think I could bear anything else right now, but my loving Father had a different plan and though I can not understand it, I accept it from His hand and trust Him to bring us through it.

I told some of you earlier this week about Hal’s pneumonia and Katie and others in the family sick, and two children having tonsillectomies today (they are home and utterly miserable, poor things) and another on Monday, all for sleep apnea. Oh, the business is pretty wild this week, too. Katie hasn’t gotten any better, so as soon as we got home from the hospital this afternoon, I took her to the doctor. While I was there, the radiologist report from Hal’s x-ray Wednesday for the pneumonia came back.

Hal has a large mass in his chest. Our wonderful doctor got him immediately in for a CT scan this evening and we are now awaiting the results. We don’t know yet what we are facing, but it doesn’t look good.

I am exhausted. I am devastated. Hal and I are best friends, partners in business, co-authors, constant companions, happy parents, and we have the best marriage on earth. At this point, I am clinging to the Lord; trusting Him to do what is best; trying hard to just hold His hand as a child trusts his parent.

We would be very grateful for your prayers.

I am thinking about this hymn a lot:

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake. 

Amen.