I noticed an older journal of mine amongst the debris of an Eliza playtime around my bookshelf and sat down to leaf through it. Before the sickness and tiredness of pregnancy, in the days when I had time in abundance and thought I was ‘busy’,  my most focused and best devotional times were always when I journaled.  To my shame, through pregnancy, and even now I have not managed to be anywhere near as consistent as I’d like to be or need to be. But in this newly discovered old notebook I read through a few prayers I had scribbled pre and post baby and remembered again God’s continuing faithfulness through the transitions of new life, chapters and all the unknown days ahead. It also inspired me to really focus on journaling again! I noted some of the prayers below – they’re nothing grand!- but I hope they might help someone in someway…

December 26th 2010 (10 weeks until baby comes)

‘Lord, help me not be afraid’

January 4th 2011

Father in heaven,

What a miracle it is that a little one is hidden inside of me and that You are weaving her together piece by piece, inch by inch; that You know all her days before they come to be, her abilities, her struggles, her humor, her disposition, the color of her eyes, the shape of her feet.  Such knowledge is too marvelous for me. I praise You for she is fearfully and wonderfully made.  Lord please protect her within my womb…’

January 8th 2011 – 8 weeks and 2 days till baby comes

‘Thank you for this little child within my womb – may she very early in life add her praise to the great song of praise and that those looking on might see Your goodness and strength through her young voice.  Help us teach her Lord, inspire her, make known what is right and how holiness is always beautiful…’

The same day -

‘I think today of those ladies I know who long to be mothers remembering my own heartache and how hard it is to wait and not know.  Father, please enable them to conceive and carry babies full term.  Help them to get through each day fulfilling what it is you have called them to for that moment.  May their greatest delight be in You and if children do not come move in their hearts by Your grace that they may not be lost in the distraction or disappointment but know Your healing and purpose for their lives.  You know the pain – draw near to them this day’

April 8th 2011 (Eliza is 5 and a 1/2 weeks old)

‘Father in heaven, thank You for this new morning and safety and rest through the night as Your unsleeping eye watched over us.  Thank You that all our nights and all our days are known and measured by You.  Thank You for the joy of family and that You love and care for each member of my family more than I ever could.  And yet the love of a mother is both fierce and gentle, strong and tender – thank You for our beautiful baby.  Forgive my anxious thoughts, worries and any idolatry in my heart.  She is Your child and may I love and serve You well in loving and protecting her to the best of my ability.  May I love and honor You by loving and honoring my husband well.  Thank You for Your care of me in these last weeks’

First Mothers Day – May 8th 2011

Today is my first Mother’s Day as a mother – thank you Lord for enabling me to be a mother and for the precious gift of Eliza in our lives.  Help me be a godly and gentle and hardworking and loving and joyful mother to the glory of Christ. May He be first in our hearts as we pray He will be first in Eliza’s heart.

Kristyn Getty

In the spring of 2008 I first prayed for a baby, and in the spring of 2011 God answered that prayer with the birth of our beautiful daughter.  My joy was full but so were the fears I wrestled.  In some ways I felt like a baby Christian again, caught in a whirlwind of emotions, learning and applying what I have known and trusted into a completely new life – I know I’m definitely not the first to feel that!

Friends of ours had given us a card when their first son was born; it was full of prayer requests for his little life, a prayer for every day of the month. My prayers were not quite as coherent as those, especially at first, but the urgency of the moment drove me to my knees.  “Help her, help me” baby prayers at 3am; prayers as I heard the baby monitor light up in the morning; prayers when I thought of her safety, her soul, her future; prayers  with my husband; prayers while Eliza listened in.

When people found out that I was pregnant one of the most frequent comments I received was how my creativity would discover a whole new vista of inspiration as I became a mother.  So, when Eliza came I was anticipating a fresh flow of profound poetic thought, but instead I was swept up in the constant flow of changes and feedings and “Old MacDonald had a farm!” I was expecting full sentences, but I was blubbering looking at my beautiful girl! I actually wondered if I’d ever be able to write again.  I just about tucked some thoughts away to ponder later when my brain would start to fit itself back together again (still nowhere near a completed process!). As I continued to learn the wonderful balancing act and privilege of mothering, homemaking, writing, traveling and singing, Keith and I began to write a song for Eliza choosing this theme of praying for her, and the end result was “A Mother’s Prayer.”

My parents have faithfully prayed for me my whole life, and I remember when I was younger my mum met with other mums to pray for all their children – a “Moms in Touch” group in Belfast. Even just the knowledge of that helped me, and I want Eliza to know we are praying for her and trying to guide her in this context that reaches to the call and purpose of her whole life and an understanding of the Lord’s grace and faithfulness. We’re now in the toddler stage and some of the prayer needs are shifting.  We wanted the song to reflect the different seasons – ones we had discovered and then those still to come.  We also wrote it to remind us of our promise to pray for her through all the years we’re given.  We hope this song for her – and even more our praying for her – might catch her ear and help guide her heart as she grows up.

Kristyn Getty

Keith & Kristyn Getty are some of our favorite modern songwriters. Right up there with our son, Matt Henry Young (BTW, if you haven’t listened to this song of his, you need to!). They write songs of praise that aren’t merely choruses or full of mindless repetition, but instead are full of faith-building truth just like our favorite hymnwriters of the past. So, when the Gettys contacted us to see if we’d like to share Kristyn’s newest song with our readers before Mother’s Day, of course, we said yes!

Once I’d heard it, though, I was especially glad to bring it to you because it shares the heart of every believing mother — that her child would learn to love her Lord. Enjoy!

Want to share this sweet song? Head over to the Getty’s site by clicking here and you can send a Mother’s Day card with this song — and get 15% off of their music, too!

Keep your eyes out tomorrow for a guest post by Kristyn sharing her thoughts about this song!

Melanie Young

I just read a news article about a young newscaster on the air for the first – and last – time at his first job out of college. His first words on the air were a blast of profanity. Oh, he didn’t know his microphone was on, but part of a reporter’s training is to always remember any mic nearby could be hot. The real problem, however, is that he has not learned to control his temper and his mouth. He’d been practicing pronouncing the name of the winner of the London Marathon and couldn’t get it right. He just blew up and broadcast filth to the entire audience. The station let him go and I’m sure he’s rethinking his language habits right about now.

This is a great example to teach our sons the dangers of having a bad temper and of letting ourselves use bad language. Why not go a step further, though?

I’ll never forget the mom’s night out meeting when an older mom said, “You know, I’ve had to give up sanitized cursing. You know, those nonsense words that we use when we’re mad instead of cussing.”

Everyone was pretty surprised, “What’s wrong with that?” She explained much to our surprise how many of them are clearly meant to be the same thing as the original word. Gosh seems to be from the word God, Jeeze from the word Jesus, darn it from that phrase that asks God to condemn something to everlasting punishment. That was startling enough for someone who takes very seriously that we shouldn’t take the name of the Lord in vain, but then she said something even more surprising,

“Even if those really were just nonsense words, doesn’t our use of them say something about our hearts?” After all, why do we use exclamations like that? Why are we so angry about the things that happen to us? Shouldn’t we trust God more to have our good at heart? Shouldn’t we be more content? As Paul said:

“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13

Wow, that was convicting. Let’s talk to our guys about having a heart of contentment and not one of cursing and railing against the sovereignty of God – and about the manly virtue of self-control. That even when we blow it in our hearts, it doesn’t have to come out of our mouths! Instead, we should pray and ask for help to make our hearts right. It’s not easy, though, we have to work at it:

“But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.” James 3:8-10

When we explain to our guys that letting any old thing out of their mouths could cost them the job they need to support their wife and children, they see it’s not just mom and dad being picky, it’s a real issue that affects their future – and says something about their relationship with their God, too.

-Melanie

The Young family is on the road again in May!  We’ll be speaking at four major events in North and South Carolina, Tennessee, and Nebraska, and kicking off the first leg of our 2013 Great Western Tour.

Do you live along these routes? Would you like to have Hal and Melanie speak to your church, support group, or just a meeting of friends? Then drop us a line at info@raisingrealmen.com and start the conversation. You may be surprised how easily and inexpensively it can be done!

Opportunities:

Sunday, May 26 – West Virginia – Hal is available to teach a Sunday evening service, or both Hal and Melanie can speak to a group anywhere along the route of Bluefield-Beckley-Charleston-Huntington

Monday-Tuesday, May 27-28 – Missouri/Indiana/Illinois/Iowa – We are planning to stop two nights somewhere in a region bordered by Huntington, W.Va.-St. Louis-Kansas City on the southern edge, and Cincinnati-Indianapolis-Des Moines on the northern edge. If you are in that area and would be interested in hosting us for a meeting around that time, we might be available!

Training the next brother to work the booth.

We’re getting ready to fly out to California for the CHEA Bay Area Homeschool Convention this weekend. I’m still part time on crutches, but as I was thinking through the trip, I realized I’m not worried. See, we’re taking two of our teens with us and I know they’ll take great care of me. It’s hard to imagine when you’re changing diapers or hauling them out of the toilet and washing them up. It’s even harder to imagine when they’re eleven or twelve and they can’t get their school work done unless you’re constantly on their case. It’s hard to imagine, alright, but the day will come when you depend on them – and it’s a lot closer than you think!

I realized how much I’ve come to depend on our teens when we began talking about the possibility of them working away for the summer. Uh oh! How could we manage without them? How would we handle all the equipment when we camped? It would take so much longer to set up, and then pack out in the morning! Who’s going to run errands – or babysit? And conferences? I don’t even want to think about doing that without those guys!

It’s time, though, for the next two to step up to the plate. It’s time for them to learn the diligence and responsibility that have made their big brothers such a blessing to us. I’m not looking forward to the work that will take, but I’ve seen the blessings and it’s so worth it! Raise your boys to work hard, to contribute to the family – and don’t despair when it seems an impossible dream! They’ll grow up before you know it!

Hal & Melanie

When our eldest was just one, we went to our first homeschool convention – in a picnic shelter (really!) in Modesto, California. It was so exciting to talk to homeschoolers and to look through all the books. We knew we wanted to homeschool and this little taste of it just whet our appetites. We’ve only missed going to a homeschool convention once in the twenty-two years since then!

It’s true the Internet has changed things. It’s easier to get information and easier to “talk” to other homeschoolers than ever before. You can even download workshop sessions from your favorite speakers whenever you like.

So why should you go to a live homeschool convention?

It’s different when you are actually there. We love the time after our workshops when we get to talk to moms and dads face to face and pray with them. You can really get to know the speakers you enjoy – and they can get to know you.

Often the people who wrote the curriculum you are interested in are right there in the book fair. Even if they’re not, there will be knowledgeable folks running each booth, usually people who’ve used those books themselves. You can talk to other parents there and gain from their experience, and take a look at new things you’ve never even heard of before.

It’s good to be away from home, too. It’s hard to focus on your own learning when the children are running in and out and the laundry is calling. It’s so relaxing to sit back next to your mate, listen and learn, then head to lunch together talking about where the Lord is leading your family. It’s good for you and good for your marriage and children, as well.

The best reasons, though, are the divine appointments. Cool things happen when you put a few thousand homeschoolers in a building together. It happens all the time. We see two dads bouncing cranky toddlers in the hall and the dad who’s been worried about high school talks about the teens he’s met there. Teens who’d been restless at home gain a new perspective and a bunch of new friends in the teen sessions. A group of moms chatters up a storm waiting for a session to start, then settles back happy with some new ideas. Old friends call delighted greetings over stacks of books. The energy and joy is amazing!

We’re going to be speaking at a number of conventions this year, including:

• Santa Clara, Calif. – Christian Home Educators Association of California (CHEA-CA), Bay Area Convention
• Spartanburg, S.C. – Teach Them Diligently
• Nashville, Tenn. - Teach Them Diligently
• Winston-Salem, N.C. – North Carolinians for Home Education (NCHE)
• Omaha, Neb. – Teach Them Diligently
• Nampa, Id. (Boise area) - Christian Homeschool Organization of Idaho State (CHOIS)
• Phoenix, Ariz. – Arizona Families for Home Education (AFHE)
• Matthews, N.C. (Charlotte area) – HINTS Book Fair

If you come to one, stop by and say, “Hi!”

For more times and places, visit our Events page at RaisingRealMen.com/calendar

This article originally appeared in The Homeschool Minute.

Several of our sons have done well in state-level geography bees, including one who ranked no. 2 for the whole state. When a public school teacher turned to Melanie in amazement and asked “What curriculum do you use?” she had to admit a dark secret … we seldom use a geography curriculum at all!

So how do we help our children learn it?

• Make it accessible:  For years, we kept a world map and a U.S. map under plastic on our kitchen table (you can get tough, clear plastic in home improvement stores and fabric counters of discount stores). As we talked about current events over dinner, we’d simply illustrate them where we sat. “There’s flooding in the Hunan province of China. That’s over there, under the green beans.” One family we met had a world map which covered the wall of their playroom, from floor to ceiling!
• Make it personal: Use your family’s history and your child’s experiences to make geography real for them. Our four-year-old son once stepped to a chalkboard and sketched a very accurate map of the eastern U.S. We were shocked! When we asked how he could do that, he told us a short story about each state, just like we’d told him: “Grandma and Grandpa live here, Uncle Stan lives here, this is where we went on vacation …” And he had learned the shapes from a jigsaw puzzle!
• Make it memorable: Much of history is connected to geography, whether it’s the western expansion of the U.S., the military campaigns of Napoleon, or the growth of colonialism. We are fans of the novels of G.A. Henty, who wrote historical fiction with loads of geographical detail. Look for map clues in all your children’s reading and point them out – follow the Ingalls family in the Little House series, explore the lands visited in missionary biographies, trace the Mediterranean travels of the apostle Paul or the journeys of Marco Polo! And don’t overlook the maps in the back of your Bible – many of those countries, from Israel and Eqypt to Babylon and Persia, are frequently in the news today.
• Make it fun: Kids love maps and globes. Get them! There are puzzles, games, memory songs and books galore, where geography is either taught or caught. All of these can be effective tools for sharing the outlines of God’s world!

Whatever you do, point out that knowing something of geography can be an opening for sharing God’s love with others. You may find, like we have, that most people haven’t even heard of Kyrgyzstan or can tell you where Saskatchewan is, but knowing geography can give you more opportunities for friendship and ministry than you may have dreamed.

“[God] hath made of one blood all nations of men … and the bounds of their habitation …”
Acts 17:26

 Hal 

This article first appeared in The Homeschool Minute, 3/13/13 … Photo “Map Reading” by Bart Groenhuizen

Need ideas for teaching boys without going crazy? Get our workshop recording, “Ballistic Homeschooling: Teaching Sons” for a pile of good ideas! 

I know that God can, has, and will take care of us. I have seen the healing hand of God protecting and providing for us through every heartbeat, every breath, every moment, every day of the year. I know that God will be our strength, our fortress, our mighty rock – but do I believe it? My father fought Stage IV Hodgkin’s Lymphoma three years ago. When he was diagnosed, he had a tomato-sized tumour between his lungs, and spots of cancer and his lymph nodes, liver and spleen. The oncologists at Duke only gave Dad a 55% chance of making it until June – 6 months. Thankfully, the Lord saw fit to preserve my Father for a while yet, and Dad’s had two and a half years of clean scans. This week, though, his oncologist called with some disturbing news. He had been looking over the results from Dad’s last panel of blood tests, and they showed a higher level of a specific antibody that might indicate a return of Dad’s cancer. I’m struggling with my emotions again – I can barely stand the thought of losing my Dad. I have faith, but now it’s being tested.

My football coach often finished our team devotionals with an exhortation to put “Virtue in shoe leather”. It’s easy to talk about faith; it’s that much harder to walk in it. It’s easy to trust until we think our lives and happiness depend on it. A theologian said “We may have atheistic hearts without atheistic minds.” We can easily have a solid knowledge of something, based on experience and fact, yet still doubt that truth in our hearts. Is not that doubt evidence that we are short changing God’s power in our minds? Is it evidential of our thirst, our lustful desire for control – that we can’t stand the thought of placing our full trust in God because that equates to an admission that we can’t trust ourselves to take care of it?

Blaise Pascal, a French philosopher, once posited an idea that later became famous as “Pascal’s Wager”. Christianity seems like a collection of half-truths and fairy tales on the surface, he argued, but it makes logical sense to believe in it. After all, the Atheist has nothing to gain if he is right, and everything to lose if he’s wrong; conversely, the Christian has nothing to lose by being wrong, but everything to gain of he is right. True, merely deciding that it’s better to bet on God’s existence doesn’t foster true belief, but Pascal suggested that through that conscious decision to believe, and the constant affirmation and repetition of the idea the soul could be led to true belief. Thus, a man might become a Christian when he could have never brought himself to that point through regular paths. While I might disagree with Pascal’s stance on Salvation, I would suggest that his theory has everything to do with learning to trust God.

I think back to how I felt that spring three years ago when I thought my dad would die. My emotions swung from fear, to panic, to depression, to quiet hope. I felt like I was further lost than ever before, but somehow also closer to home. As a Christian, I knew that we had nothing to fear from death. If my father died, we would just be apart for a time, and he’d be in a far better place. For me, there’s no doubt about what will happen at the end of this mortal life – and absolutely nothing to be afraid of. It might sound selfish, but I was never afraid for my father; I was afraid for myself. I knew that whether the Lord chose to take him home at that time or not, that Dad would be okay. I was afraid that I wasn’t man enough to step into his place, to help provide for my family, or to hold my family together. I was afraid that I would be tested in fire and rather than come out purified, and tempered, that the heat and pressure would melt my resolve and destroy me. For one of the first times in my life, I really understood that I was being faced with an obstacle that I could never overcome by myself. I was a young man, barely old enough to work a part-time job, scared for the future, and overcome by doubt and fear. Yet, looking back, I see how God carried me – and my entire family – through that time. As 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” God used my weakness to show his power and complete a work of providence and healing in my father’s body and our family. During that period of stress, I learned a lot about responsibility, problem solving, and most importantly, trust.

Now, our future is once again filled with doubt and uncertainty. My dad is scheduled for a scan and appointment with his oncologist tomorrow morning. It’s been far too easy to let my overly-active imagination lead me down a depressing path of worry and fear. It’s right to be concerned, and to take all the logical steps indicated to remedy the situation – that’s why Dad’s having a scan tomorrow – but it’s wrong to let legitimate concern turn to paralyzing fear. There’s a lot of wisdom in the wartime poster the British Government created for distribution in case of a German invasion during WWII. In disaster/emergency response classes, they teach that the most important thing is to stay calm and focused, then isolate the problem, and respond appropriately – to “Keep Calm and Carry On”. So, now, when questions about my dad’s health are frantically awaiting answers, I still have a responsibility to stay focused on my duties. I know that, ultimately, the Lord will continue to provide for us, but my faithless heart still doubts. So, following Pascal’s advice, I’m repeating the assurances of Scripture that God will provide for and care for his people. As I feel alarmed or worried about what the test may show tomorrow, I find myself bringing the events of Dad’s earlier bout with cancer back to mind. I may have trouble trusting in my heart, but my doubts can be assuaged by remembering how God has taken care of me, time and time again. I have seen the healing hand of God, and I have no reason to doubt that whatever happens will be a part of His perfect will. Whatever tomorrow brings, be it life, death, or any other thing, I will trust in God. I know that there is nothing which is able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I’ve probably talked long enough about doubt and uncertainty. It’s time to put faith in shoe leather. 

“I have a sin of fear, that when I have spun   

 My last thread, I shall perish on the shore ;

 But swear by Thyself, that at my death Thy Son   

 Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore ;       

 And having done that, Thou hast done ;                   

 I fear no more.”

~John Donne: A Hymn to God the Father

P.S. — Please pray that we would receive an accurate (and hopefully clean) report back from Dad’s scan.

UPDATE: This afternoon at Duke Hal’s oncologist told him with joy that the scan had come back with no change — there was no sign of the cancer returning! This was a special blessing because the antibody found would have indicated something very bad IF the cancer had come back. Please join us in praising God and rejoicing at His mercy today! We are inexpressibly grateful for your prayers!

Matthew Henry Young

(Hal & Melanie’s Son)

Melanie has a recurring dream that she is back in college, final exams are approaching, and suddenly she realizes with horror that she’s been signed up for a class that she’s forgotten to attend all semester. Thankfully, that never actually happened to her, but that kind of panic feels pretty familiar sometimes.

We’ve had a few really challenging years in our homeschool as our family faced cancer, a baby in ICU, starting a new business and ministry, and so many other trials it sounds like bad fiction. There are days we’ve had that “What are we doing? What are we even supposed to be doing?” fear. Now, our children have always been homeschooled; it’s a commitment we made before the first was even born, so we don’t think, “Maybe we ought to put them back in school.” There’s no school in their past to go back to! That doesn’t stop us from having doubts and anxieties, though, does it?

So, what do you do when it seems everything is falling apart around you? Here are a few things we’ve learned along the way:

• God’s curriculum for our children is often different than ours and that’s not just okay, it’s good. We’ve had to simplify and let extras go in our schooling at times, but the character and life lessons our children have learned are amazing and humbling.
• God will stand in the gap. We’ll never forget the time we weren’t able to prepare our son as much as we’d hoped for the state National Geographic Bee. The historical novel he read the week before was set in the very location they asked him about. We have tons of stories like that.
• Simplify your home and life. Fish sticks on paper plates won’t kill you, and if they leave you the time to teach and disciple your children, be thankful for them. We try to eat healthy, too, but sometimes you just have to survive. After all, it’s “Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.” (Matthew 15:11 NKJV) In the same way, focus on getting the basics done in your school and add more as things get under control.
• Suffering has purpose. Our trials have allowed us to reach so many hurting people because we’ve “been there.” We’re told to comfort one another in the way that we’ve been comforted (2 Corinthians 1:4) and we’ve found this to be such a blessing. Trust that this time is for your good (and your children’s!) and for His glory.

So, don’t quit! Homeschooling is about so much more than school. As your children watch you in the fire of trials, they’ll see your Christ just as when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were thrown in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3). We wouldn’t have chosen to go through the trials we have, and Melanie often wishes it hadn’t taken such a toll on our schooling, but we can thank God when we see what it has done in our children’s characters. May the Lord bless your family the same way in your trials.

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For more on Just As I Am: Homeschooling in Hard Times, download our workshop by that title here: http://www.raisingrealmen.com/orders/ourstorealt/workshop-cds/on-family-life/

This article originally appeared The Homeschool Minute, 3/6/13 … photo “Tree On Rock” by Mitch Law